| SHOCKIN’LY SPAIKED O’ER SMOT (BADLY DUBBED PORN) LIVE! - Flesh Gordon in Ulster-Scots |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|04:26 pm] |
http://www.belfastfilmfestival.org/2009/programme/films/331
SHOCKIN’LY SPAIKED O’ER SMOT (BADLY DUBBED PORN) LIVE!
THURSDAY 2 APRIL 9PM
THE MENAGERIE
“Flesh! Flesh! I luve ye, but we hiv anely fowerteen oors to sauf the earth!”
When Emperor Wang, leader of the planet Porno, fires his “Sex-Ray” towards Earth, turning the inhabitants into sex-mad nymphomaniacs, only one man can save the day. Flesh Gordon, with the help of his trusty side kick Professor Flexi-Jerkoff and the beautiful Dale Ardent set off in their Penis-ship to stop the evil Emperor Wang and save the Earth.
Join our resident voiceover artists and dissident Ulster Scot speakers, brothers Roger and Phil McCrackin, and the beautiful Fanny Flood as we deliver to you this cult classic of adult cinema like you’ve never seen it before. An evening of titillation is ensured as this crack team of linguists get to work deciphering the text from the infuriatingly intricate English language in which it was written, translating it for you live into the lyrical and unadorned Ulster Scotch we all know and love.
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| Orange Order superhero Dan in copyright row |
[Jul. 19th, 2008|10:58 pm] |
When the Orange Order unveiled a cartoon mascot last November, leaders of the organisation hoped their new superhero character, Diamond Dan, would help to transform the formerly sectarian image of the group into something more family and tourist friendly. He featured on the Order's Christmas cards and was unveiled in full before last week's 12 July marches commemorating the Battle of the Boyne, with souvenir fridge magnets and notebooks. But Dan appears to have fallen foul of copyright law. Dan Bailey, a designer from Essex, posted a similar image on iStockphoto.com, one of the world's digital libraries, and its graphics cannot be used for commercial purposes without a licence. Diamond Dan was created as part of the re-branding of Orangeism aimed at attracting tourists from abroad to participate in what has become known as "Orangefest". Named after one of its founding members, Dan Winter, Diamond Dan - Diamond referring to the Institution's formation at the Diamond, Loughgall, in 1795 - began to spread the 'good word' of the Order in the run-up to the marching season. Speaking at the character's unveiling earlier this year, Orange Order education officer David Scott said the character, developed to appeal to young people, was meant to represent the true values of the Order. "Diamond Dan will be the kind of person who offers his seat on a crowded bus to an elderly lady. He won't drop litter and he will be keen on recycling" he said. "He will also be committed to the Orange Order and to the Junior movement and will make efforts to know all he can about his history and culture." The Order hopes to make its new mascot legal.
Can't say I can see any resemblance myself  
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| "I've come out of a closet that bigger on the inside than the outside" |
[Jan. 14th, 2008|02:04 pm] |
would it be cruel of me to point out to the Belfast Whovians who frequent these parts (you know who you are) what a great gig they missed at the Black Box on Friday night? Yes, it would but I'll do it anyway.
It was a stand-up set called Moths Ate My Dr Who Scarf by Toby Hadoke, about his experiences growing up as a Dr Who fan in the 70s and 80s and how it showed him excitement and adventure, but also brought him pain and misery as the class geek who all the girls liked, "but as a friend". Eventually though there was vindication and validation (although those words weren't actually used in the show). It wasn't a laugh out loud show but rather the gentle titter of the comedy of self-recognition. Although billed as a gig that was accessible to non Who fans, there were many geeky types in evidence. He did achieve a fine balance between Who related in-jokes (some of which I didn't get as a mere general SF fan*) and jokes that the mundanes could grok. Katherine, my better half really enjoyed it, and she usually calls Dr Who silly (when she's being polite)
The ending was a little mawkish but ultimately life affirming and the whole thing well worth the few quid entrance. If he comes this way again I do advise you have a look as it's skiffy fun, of a sort you don't get too often. It has been dramatised on bbc7 with Colin Baker and Louise Jameson as his mum and you can also get it on cd, but of course it's not quite the same as the real thing
*of course I am a big enough geek that when he was making a point about the ground breaking natature of the programme featuring a suicide bomber in Death to the Daleks, and you wouldn't get that in a science fiction programme nowadays, I was tempted to shout out, "what about Battlestar Galactica, Season 3, episode 2" |
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| mine is a casio fx100, what's yours? |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|02:15 pm] |
anyone catch that rather good, if somewhat hyperbolic, C4 programme last night on how the paranoia of the Soviets in 1983 lead them to think that a NATO war game was the cover for a nuclear first strike. The dramatic reconstructions were only marred by the bit where they talked about how when the soviet agent working within NATO needed to send a special signal he used a modified calculator. Cut to dramatic reconstruction of man keying numbers into calculator. And what number appears on the LED display, 55378008. which as everyone who was a boy in the 80s with their first calculator knew spelt out BOOBLESS when turned upside down.
yes, I do need to get out more |
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| The unsung hero behind Spider-Man |
[Sep. 14th, 2007|02:14 pm] |
| I thought comics fans might be interested in this from today's Guardian, just to whet their appetite for the Ross documentary on Ditko on SundayThe unsung hero behind Spider-Man Stan Lee is celebrated as the creator of Spider-Man. But artist Steve Ditko had just as much input into the comic-book superhero. So why do we never hear about him? Jonathan Ross tracks down a reclusive genius Friday September 14, 2007
The Guardian
As a kid I had only one real love. I liked movies more than anyone else I knew, apart from maybe my mum, and she drew the line at Death Race 2000. I had a passion for watching just about anything on TV as long as it didn't involve people chasing balls or riding horses and cars faster than each other. Even long after puberty had made those little changes it visits on all young men, I didn't really get into the idea of sex for quite a while. But the earliest, the first love of my life was comic books. In particular, American comic books, and, to be yet more specific, American comic books published by Marvel. There were only two major publishers, Marvel and DC, but DC books always seemed a little square. Too neat, too tidy, too straitlaced. DC had Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman - all characters who had been born in the late 30s and early 40s and were beginning to show their age. Marvel was more of the moment: cool and freewheeling in its house style, as editor-in-chief Stan Lee shot the breeze like a hip uncle, and in the art - mostly raw and rough and powerful - and, of course, in the characters themselves. |
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| The Yellow Sign at the 2nd Belfast H P Lovecraft Film Night. |
[May. 5th, 2007|01:14 pm] |
Have you seen the Yellow Sign?
Now you can on 10th May 07 at the 2nd Belfast H P Lovecraft Film Night.
See Aaron Vanek's The Yellow Sign & full supporting features for a night of movies that will warp your senses and shatter your mind
"This film is inspired by the Robert W. Chambers story of the same title. Like H.P. Lovecraft, Chambers is a difficult author to adapt to film. "The Yellow Sign" is one of a set of loosely connected stories about sensitive individuals discovering an obscure play, "The King in Yellow", then becoming obsessed with the story's intrusion into their own lives. The emphasis of the original story is less on plot and characterization than on creating a eerie, disturbing atmosphere. Vanek, with colleague John Tynes of Pagan Publishing fame, have taken the sketchy plot of Chambers' story and built a more complete screenplay around it, while still capturing the proper weird, disconnected, dream-like fantasy feel."
Doors open 7pm for 7.30pm
Queens University
Student Union
University Road
Belfast
Admission free
(but a donation to our preferred charity, Cancer Research UK, at the event is welcome)
More details at our website
Sponsored by QUB Science Fiction Society & TableTopTop north roleplaying
Contact hpl at terracon3000.org.uk
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| why I love the Belfast film festival |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|09:56 am] |
Either one alone would have been worth the price of admission
   - TURKISH WIZARD OF OZ AND GIMME GIMME OCTOPUS WITH LIVE SCORE
- THE BLACK BOX
- 8PM-11PM -WEDNESDAY 28TH MARCH
- £5.00 BUY TICKETS
The Turkish Wizard of Oz has to go down in history as one of the most amazing remakes ever known. The film gets off to a quick start; once in Oz, Dorothy encounters a group of dwarfs dressed as toy solders, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion (a fat guy in a pair of brown pyjamas with hair glued to it).
Belfast based group Kinnego Flux will present a new live score to the film. Kinnego Flux write music which varies from electronica, soul, funk to breakbeat. David plays bass and clarinet, Brian plays drums, trumpet and vocals.
An evening in the company of an octopus, a peanut and a fat guy in a pair of brown pyjamas with hair glued to it.
Gimme Gimme Octopus is a 60s Japanese TV show for kids, starring an octopus and a peanut who are in love with the same walrus. However, love stories are notoriously boring, so the creators of this series decided to infuse the series with lots of crime, gratuitous violence, and insect repellent. Local electronic musicians Iso9 and Deadman present a new soundtrack to such classics as Stealing The Dragon’s Mosquito Repellent Which Is Not At All Psychoactive.
http://www.bugklinik.com |
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| That skiffy book meme |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|12:25 pm] |
This is the Science Fiction Book Club's list of the fifty most significant science fiction/fantasy novels published between 1953 and 2002. Bold the ones you've read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk beside the ones you loved.
Ian McDonald's list is at http://ianmcdonald.livejournal.com/51156.html
I have added # for books on my shelf to be read but haven't got round to yet (I have very big shelves)
1. The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien - shame, shame but it 's the bloody poems & songs that keep stopping me
2. The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov*
3. Dune, Frank Herbert
4. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein
5. A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
6. Neuromancer, William Gibson*
7. Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke*
8. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick #
9. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
10. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury #
11. The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
12. A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.*
13. The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov*
14. Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
15. Cities in Flight, James Blish
16. The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett*
17. Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
18. Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison #
19. The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester #
20. Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
21. Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey
22. Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
23. The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R.
Donaldson
24. The Forever War, Joe Haldeman*
25. Gateway, Frederik Pohl
26. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling*
27. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams*
28. I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
29. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
30. The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
31. Little, Big, John Crowley#
32. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
33. The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick*
34. Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
35. More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
36. The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
37. On the Beach, Nevil Shute
38. Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
39. Ringworld, Larry Niven"
40. Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys#
41. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
42. Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut#
43. Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
44. Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner*" took me ten years to read as I loved it so much i never wanted to finish it
45. The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester*
46. Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
47. Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
48. The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks
49. Timescape, Gregory Benford
50. To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer# |
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| Helpful hints for IT types |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|10:53 pm] |
here's the gist of an email I sent to the IT Support manager at my work today
Hi XXX
here's a helpful hint you might want to pass on to your support staff.
When they are slagging off a user who has inconvenienced them {by asking them to install a card that they claim can't be installed] by calling him "a cheeky bastard" and asking "who the fuck is he anyway?", they might want to check that they have hung up the phone first. Especially if they then go on to slag off several other members of their department with equally colourful and forthright language! |
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| steampunk laptop |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|09:51 pm] |
obscenely cool steampunk laptop that actually works.
Now I know what I want for xmas! (and a trolley to be able to move it)
e |
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| Daleks prepare invasion of Google Earth |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|09:15 pm] |
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/18/interdimensional_portal/
Our Dutch readers, and particularly those living in Hilversum, are hereby warned that they should immediately arm themselves with pulse plasma rifles and prepare to defend their homeland from interdimensional attack:
Yup, it looks like the Daleks are poised to exploit this rift in the space/time continuum. Or possibly, some local Blofeld has developed a ground-based, satellite-busting solar terror weapon. Either way, the future of humanity is at stake. Stay vigilant. ® |
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| One step beyond - Psychic Derek Acorah hits Belfast |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|11:38 am] |
just what we need here, another charlatan
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/features/story.jsp?story=706044
One step beyond
Psychic Derek Acorah, whose show starts a two-night run at Belfast's Waterfront tomorrow, has already hit local headlines with his alleged plan to chat to George Best on stage. Here Derek, who himself played football with the legendary Bill Shankly's Liverpool, and now stars in TV shows Most Haunted and Ghost Towns, talks to Marie Foy about George, his gift, and his belief in an afterlife. Derek, who lives in Southport in England with his wife Gwen, has a son, a step-daughter and three grandchildren
12 September 2006
Derek, you have been distressed by a recent newspaper report claiming you were going to attempt to 'make contact' with the spirit of George Best during your Belfast show. What happened?
My agent was phoned by this particular journalist for a particular paper, if you want to call it a paper, and said they would like to do an interview. They approached me, I didn't approach them - I was on holiday. The interviewer was an amiable man and I answered his questions with clarity.
Knowing I had a football background, he asked what I thought of the great player George Best - and would it be likely that I would connect with him. I said, 'No, no, no'. Why would George Best want to contact me as a medium, unless of course there were people who belonged to George there?
more at url
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| Just what do the Russians know that we don't? |
[Jul. 9th, 2006|08:53 pm] |
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060704/wr_nm/russia_internet_dc
Putin quizzed on robots, octopus and that kiss
By Oliver Bullough Tue Jul 4, 10:48 AM ET
MOSCOW (Reuters) - Organizers of an online conference with PresidentVladimir Putin have invited Internet users to quiz him on Russia's democracy, its newly assertive role in the world and his personal qualities.
With two days to go to the web cast, Russians are more interested in why he kissed a boy on the stomach, whether he will dispatch humanoid robots to defend Russia and what he thinks of the return of giant mythical octopus Cthulhu.
Putin, who has a yearly televised phone-in with citizens and occasional multi-hour news conferences, seems to relish lengthy discussions of his views on almost any topic.
But he rarely has to tussle with some of the more off-beat questions posted on Russian Web site www.yandex.ru and the BBC's www.bbc.co.uk -- which are jointly running the web cast.
"What did you achieve by kissing the little boy Nikita on the stomach?" was the runaway favorite question. Almost 11,500 people had asked for it to be forwarded to the president.
Just six days ago, Putin stunned Russia by stopping a young boy walking through the Kremlin, asking his name, lifting up his T-shirt and kissing him on the stomach.
It was not clear what had prompted 8,600 Russians to ask Putin if he planned to employ "giant, humanoid war robots" or why 7,300 people were interested in the Cthulhu, a cosmic cephalopod invented by novelist H. P. Lovecraft which is said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.
Other, if less popular, themes raised in the 87,000 questions sent to Yandex focused on the more serious issues of Russians' lives -- the size of pensions, military conscription, rising xenophobia and corrupt officials.
For many foreigners writing questions in English to the BBC Web site, Putin's personal life and Russia's separatist war inChechnya were the main topics of interest, as well as the obstacles to getting a visa to visit Russia.
But a fair number of foreigners found their own unusual questions to ask.
"I think that the character Dobby in the Harry Potter movie 'The Chamber of Secrets' looks a lot like you. Do you know if this is on purpose and do you agree with me that you look alike?" asked A.M. Venema from the Netherlands.
The Web sites will stop accepting questions from 1300 GMT on Thursday, when Putin will get a chance to answer some of them in a live web cast.
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| Police Seek Klingon For Questioning |
[May. 25th, 2006|11:43 pm] |
http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=18858
Police Seek Klingon For Questioning
Star Trek prop seized by local cops
A police knife amnesty appears to have got off to a flying start with even alien criminals giving up their arms in the face of stern looks from the local bobby. The national initiative, which began yesterday and continues until 30 June, is predicted to see 30,000 illegal blades turned over to authorities with no questions asked. Most surprising, though, was the unexpected surrender of a Klingon bat'leth.
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| The Third Policeman - A review in several digressions |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|07:56 pm] |
serendipity waves her wand in many strange ways
I was just thinking the other week (as I am sometimes known to do) about a
review I'd written a couple of years back of Flann O' Brien's The Third
Policeman. It was written for a small Robert Rankin fanzine, but as it was
late in didn't get used. With the current interest in the book due to
mention of it in a recent episode of Lost, I thought I might slip it into the
list here. then I find that last Sat, April 1st is the anniversary of Flann's
death, so what better timing? Except of course me being me, I can't find my
copy of it! Fortunately the editor who rejected it is better organised and
he was able to send me a copy.
See what you think
Eugene
===========================================================================
The Third Policeman
A review in several digressions by Eugene Doherty
“It is a great thing to do what is necessary before it becomes essential and unavoidable” Sgt Pluck
Ok so here's the thing. I am what you might call a bibliomaniac, a bit like a bibliophile but without the discrimination. Rather as Pratchett defined a gourmand as a gourmet who eats more, so I tend to buy lots of books often by one author, just because I know I should read him or her. Of course then I sometimes never get started with them, especially when I feel that I "should" be reading them
I knew that O’Brien was one such author, richly lauded for his satirical humour especially in relation to the moods and mores of Ireland in the mid 20th century as it began its slow passage from a rural to an urban mindset. Although I'd seen and enjoyed An Béal Bocht (The Poor Mouth) as a stage play with puppets, I’d always felt that his books might require too great a knowledge of Irish cultural and political history to get the full nuances and subtleties, this of course was just an excuse for my procrastination. I've read the odd short piece from Best of Myles, the one that spoke to me most of course is the “Book Reading Service" for the busy man who doesn't have time to read his library. For a small fee they will dog-ear and mark books for you and as part of their deluxe service they will annotate them with Greek epigrams and sagacious marginalia, all to save you the tedium of actually reading the things yourself.
Thus when James Bacon asked for a review for his Robert Rankine fanzine, The Third Policeman seemed an ideal choice to get me broken in. This book was often said to be one of his best, the one most quoted or referenced particularly with regard to the man-bicycle hybrid theory (of which more anon) and also most compelling to me, it was one of the shortest he had done! (Which is also the reason, of all the Pynchon books I have the only one read so far is "The Crying of Lot 49"’ his smallest.)
So you read the book then, tell us about it already!
Well it certainly wasn't what I was expecting. Although firmly rooted in the comfortable Irish milieu of the middle of the last century, I thought this book had been written in the 1960s. In fact it was only published then, having been written some twenty years previously (1939 to be precise). There is a wildness about the ideas in it, a flowing of eccentricity and surrealism that almost borders on the psychedelic and indeed it put me strongly in mind of the works of Rudy Rucker - the mathematical SF humorist (or humorous SF mathematician?)
It opens with a heinous crime, when the narrator and his chillingly manipulative friend kill a neighbour for his mysterious black box, which they think contains a fortune. The killing itself is not pleasant, hitting the old man with a shovel, "I don’t know how often I struck him…but I didn’t stop until my arm was tired". In mitigation, the narrator (whom we only know as Noman) only commits the crime to finance publication of his index on De Selby, a deranged and almost mythical scientist philosopher with whom Noman is obsessed and quotes extensively in many rambling, digressive and stunning footnotes. De Selby is an off-screen (off-page?) character who also features in the Dalkey Archives, another book by O’Brien. For myself this bore comparison with HP Lovecraft and his Necronomicon and other damned tomes that drove so many of the narratives and narrators in his stories of the Cthulhu Mythos.
Having killed the neighbour, the companion hides the box and Noman being suspicious of him has to keep him in sight day and night for the next three years, as he is fearful he will do a runner with the loot. When eventually he goes to retrieve the box, something happens. What that something is forms the basis of the rest of the book. In order to retrieve the box, he goes to the local police station, which he hasn’t ever noticed before, where he meets two policemen and hears tell of the eponymous third policeman, Sgt Fox, often talked of but never seen. It soon becomes clear through his interactions with the first two policeman that they are not your average village Bobbies. One of the two, Sgt Pluck, has an obsession with bicycles and indeed when we first meet him, his opening question is, "is it about a bicycle?" This obsession proves to be one of the recurring motifs of the book as we learn that through long association and mingling of “mollycules”, men and bicycles can gradually merge into each other. Policeman MacCruiskeen dabbles in amateur hobbies that warp the fabric of the universe such as boxes within boxes that recede into infinity and paint of a colour so different that not only could it not be named but it cannot even be looked at with sending the viewer insane, as it did to the reclusive third policeman.
And therein part lies the irritant that stalled this review and diverted my attention for weeks. In all his talk of mollycules and iterative boxes within boxes, other worldly paint and chimerical man-bicycles, was the notion of O’Brien playing with the then freshly minted theories of quantum mechanics. Our man Flann had had a bit of a run in with Erwin Schroedinger of cat torturing fame in the former’s weekly newspaper column in the Irish Times. With the rise of the Nazis in Germany, Schroedinger had fled to Ireland where the DAIS Dublin Institute for Advanced Study had been set up to give him a place to work. O’Brien had taken some of his lectures on the existence of God and those of others on the historical St Patrick to comment that only in Dublin could they prove that “there was no God and two St Patrick’s”. This whimsy had cost him and the paper a libel suit and a public apology.
I wondered if he had taken these talks and others further to work a pastiche of quantum mechanics into his story of crime and punishment. Certainly Noman finds later in the book that not only are the policemen dabbling with the nature of space and time but are also responsible for regulating the infinite and keeping the universe on an even keel. But let’s not give too much away for those who have not had the pleasure of reading and experiencing this book. And despite weeks of research in critiques and studies of O’Brien’s life and works, I never did find an answer to my query.
One thing is certain though, this is science fiction, make no bones about it. Despite the fancy labels such as menippean satire that literary critics hang on it, this is a crazy tale of inexplicable science barely comprehended by the narrator or the reader, a mind-bending story worthy of the finest hallucinogenic trip. Great ideas, characters and quotes litter every page in an insouciant almost offhand fashion. Unfortunately the literary establishment has laid claim to him first so now it’s time to take back Flann back into the skiffy ghetto where he belongs.
Perhaps if I end with another quote from the book that best sums it up, when our narrator says, “Anything can be said in this place and it will be true and have to be believed”, there is no better way to précis the novel.
So now you know what a great book this is, what a great author he is and I'll be reading more myself. Hmmm, At Swim-Two-Birds is another wee book, let’s try that next.
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| I have seen the future - and it's goth |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|09:03 pm] |
I have seen the future - and it's goth
We mocked their make-up and giggled over their gloom. But the goths are taking over the country. Dave Simpson reports
Tuesday March 21, 2006
The Guardian
http://arts.guardian.co.uk/features/story/0,,1735690,00.html
It's every parent's nightmare. Their apparently well-adjusted child suddenly comes home with hair the colour of a coalface, a face whiter than anything made by Dulux, and announces, "Mummy, I'm a goth." However, according to a new study, parents of goths will probably end up boasting about their son/daughter the doctor, lawyer or bank manager.
more at url |
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